Ikiru

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It’s been a very long time to trace the idea stage of a personal site to what you are reading right now. I’ve struggled with a lot of self doubt, and frankly, despise self promotion when I see it. Beyond that, almost all of the projects I currently work on and have worked on in the past, have been collaborative. It has never felt right.

New obstacles have also presented themselves over the last year as press coverage has brought its fair share of stalking behaviors on the part of individuals who now watch my every move and fixate on my presence. The idea of launching a personal site has largely been shelved over the last year for this reason.

That kind of fear can only last for so long before you begin to realize that it is no way to live. I take the issues that I organize around seriously and stand by my convictions. The limitations I’ve placed on myself have never been encouraged by those I work collaboratively with – in fact those people have always encourages me to both find and use my voice. There is a message in here about who need to be accountable to when we organize and engage in advocacy.

For this reason, and as someone who has been on the other end of booking and organizing events, I’ve launched this personal site to provide an organized one-stop for speaking events and workshops coming up and for the writing and organizing I am engaged in. I hope to use the site to challenge and be challenged – not as a form of competition, but as an understanding that atrophy is real.

I know that to whom much is given, much is expected. I also know that in many ways I speak from privilege. Even to trace to this part of my life, where speaking requests are infrequent and my writing is just starting to get re-published in movement journals, I’ve gotten here with a lot of help. To the people who support this work, and vision – thank you for pushing me along. I hope to use this site to also amplify the voices and ideas of friends, families and allies who I hope to push along as well.

Ikriu in Japanese means “to live; to be alive; to exist.” It is the title, and name of the title character, of one of my favorite films – directed by Akira Kurosawa. I won’t spoil the film, but the message of the film is something I carry with me – both in terms of how to live, and how social change occurs. It is so very relevant to me in this post.

So much of this project will be about moving out of my comfort zone to express myself without reservation, shame, or self defeating ideas. I hope to inspire others to do the same.

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